I’ve had a year of loss. I lost my Rumple rabbit in March. I lost my Teah cat in September. Somewhere in between those incidents, I lost a friendship with my cousin. Somewhere after, I lost complete respect for my entire family.
I am distancing myself away from them. It’s something that I vowed to do at 18; it’s something I should’ve done already.
But I thought they would appreciate the guidance and support. Yet, my efforts have gone unappreciated, and my time and energy have been wasted. They have used me for my intelligence and tech-savvy to be their personal assistant instead of learning and growing. They don’t want to learn and grow. They want to stew.
But this isn’t about them. 🙂
This is about ME!
The grief that I am going through is yet to subside, but I have finally been getting my life in order, and things are actually … manifesting! It’s amazing what you can do when you put your efforts into yourself instead of wasting them on other people… 😉
I’m so happy and proud of myself. My freelance business has somehow always been a low priority because I just never had the time or energy left to work.
But now, I am making so much that I have a tax bill!!!! Why am I excited about that?!? I have no clue. But for the last eight years, the husband’s tax return has covered my bill. Now, I made so much that I owe. I’m so thankful and excited about the increased income!
Even though the increase has only been for about six months, it has done wonders for the finances. I can travel this year. And not just short trips. I am LEAVING THE COUNTRY for the first time ever. All I wanted out of life was to travel. All I needed to do was focus my limited energy on myself and my work. And BOOM! Magic.
I love my family. And I miss the good times. But damn. They don’t need me anymore. I have taught and said everything I needed to teach and say. They are all grown and are able to make their own decisions now. They can FLOURISH by themselves, and I hope with all of my might that they do.
But I cannot be Miss Personal Assistant to a dozen people anymore. I can’t. I need to live my own life. Not support kids that are not mine.
I keep going off-topic to shade those bitches LMAO
Anyway…
My Ascent Plans
My goal is to level the fuck up.
I have a whole 2024 goals list broken down by quarters, then my months, and then by weeks. BRUH It’s giving organized. It’s giving control issues.
But that’s okay because the plans have not been perfectly followed at all, but I wanted guidelines for myself to stay on pace/track. Because I will be obtaining these goals this year:
Personal
- Get a 90% Daily Dozen score
- Be able to do a backbend
- Lift 60lbs in all directions
- Run a mile without breaks
- Read 12 books
- Publish SBT
Family
- Visit Omaha
- LEAVE THE COUNTRY
- Do well in frugal challenge
- Pay off big credit card
- Build catio for Frappe
Business
- Create and launch 3 courses
- Make my happy number every month
- Beef up Cresmer.io for traffic
- Create 2 niche websites
I feel that my goals are doable and manageable. I’m not going too hard on any of these except maybe the business goals. But even if I accomplish 80% of the above, my life will feel so much happier and fulfilling.
So What’s the Plan?
Showing up. It’s hard. Working so much and adjusting has been hard. With my mental issues and grief working against me, it’s a challenge to get things done. But my freelance clients are the best. And I am so motivated by the numbers and saving for trips.
I can do better. January has been a big adjustment period, and I have let exercise sit in the back, but it’s okay if I’m not perfect. I’m still working out the kinks, and by next quarter, I will be a fucking well-oiled machine!!!
Personal
- Create a well-rounded routine and schedule
- Create meal plans that are simple, easy, and meal prep-able
- Buy more workout clothes
- Spend less time scrolling and more time reading
Family
- Continue with lowering bills and budgeting (This portion is my strength in all the goals!)
Business
- Work on business side of things first before client work!
- Keep up with SEO strategy
- Keep expenses low
Back to Work
Whelp, I procrastinated enough for today. I’m excited for a break this weekend. Because OH MAN! I’m implementing strict weekends off. I have been working 6-7 days a week fo YEARS! Not full work days, but I would only work a few hours each day and call it quits. But then, I never get a full day off.
This year, that changes!