This feels really weird sitting down to blog. I have taken a very long break and haven’t blogged regularly since early 2020.
Blame the pandemic, but my interest in a lot of things was waning way before then. I stopped making YouTube videos, I stopped reading, and I stopped making an effort to be healthy.
On one hand I was having an existential crisis with growing-up pains. Do I have to do the same shit I’ve always done since I was a teenager? Don’t normal people grow out of childhood hobbies?
On the other hand, I was having an existential crisis, but with serious confusion on what the actual fuck I’m supposed to be doing with my life. What do I want to do? What do I want to be?
These two things mixed with depression. Yeah. I made no progression and had no real accomplishments for the last two years.
And I’m still in a rut. And I still dont’ know what I’m supposed to be doing. So I’m resorting to what feels good and what feels right. Doing things that I have an inner calling to do. And being okay with maybe that doesn’t include things that I used to want to do.
Almost Almost 30
So I’m almost almost 30. I’m 27 in about two weeks and then I have to face the fact that I’m in my late twenties. Time is a mind fuck.
I wasted so much of my youth being depressed and I cannot change the depresson, but I don’t have to lean into it anymore. I’ve been giving in, but I don’t want to anymore.
And I’m done with the status of my life. So I have started anew.
Hello, my name is KT and I’m on track of accomplishing my dreams. I have some push and a little bit of drive again and I’m ready to go.
2022 Quarter 1 Goals
Here are my goals for quarter one of this year:
- Get to Onderland (-6 pounds)
- Get my driver’s license (it’s finally to a point where our life would be better if I had one)
- Save $1,000 in the emergency fund
- Get my bike fixed
- Revamp cresmer.so
- Create SEO service
- Publish Stop Being Trashy
It’s a lot for 3 months (considering the first month is already over), but I feel excited and pumped that I can do it!
Even now, writing this, and working on blogging again is exciting to me because I have been wanting to get back for a really long time.
But alas depression lol